When I created this site many years ago, I never had the idea to make money off it, or to even post consistently – as you can clearly tell by my post frequency. My goal was to share ideas I had about music, or review other artists’ work.
That said, there was a long period of time where – frankly – I felt little inspiration, or connection, to music or art. I feel that is maybe more common to amateur artists than it might be to professionals. But, it is what it is.
What made me decide to write again tonight was a sudden realization – that true art isn’t always consistent. When I say “art” I am talking about not just the creation of it, but even the acknowledgement or appreciation of it.
When I started producing music, over 20 years ago at this point, I started doing it because I had a curiosity, not because I wanted to be famous or make money – I just wanted to understand what is possible. Slowly that curiosity turned into a passion, but even that passion had a ceiling. As a self taught producer, growth came largely from critique. Some kind, some abrasive, but in the end most of it was helpful.
That is all a long winded way to say that creativity sometimes came easily, but at a cost. Creativity often takes raw form, a form that – unless you are an established and respected artist – can be a dangerous space for an emerging artist. Art was never meant to be perfect, and a recent documentary I watched on Underground Resistance, reinforced that – to paraphrase “true art is full of mistakes, and imperfection – that is what makes it personal and unique”.
Often in my amateur producing career people wondered why I bounce around so much in genres – why not find a “niche” and really dial into it? The reality is, I don’t really feel my art belongs in a niche. I’ve produced music in so many different genres, some not even really electronic music – but it all comes from somewhere, and all of it belongs. The realization I came to today is that many artists – painters, sculptors, etc… have gone through different periods in their art, and the art reflects the period.
There were times when I thought that I should just focus on progressive house, because I was getting good feedback on it, or electro house because another group of folks resonated with it. And, all of that feedback left me confused. Am I doing the thing I “should” be doing? Am I diluting myself as a producer by releasing very different types of music under one name? If I were looking at it from a purely business, and marketing, standpoint – then yes. If I were looking at it from the artist’s perspective, my own, I see that my goal was simply to produce music I enjoy – no “labels” (pun intended), no boundaries, no guardrails.
When I made a shift from simply producing music I wanted to listen to, to producing things I thought others wanted to listen to I paid the cost in the form of inspiration. I found myself creating things that sounded good, maybe even better conceptually, than I what I had produced before, and I felt myself pushing what was possible – but it felt rushed. And, when I rushed, I actually felt myself slowing down. Ultimately this lead to me taking long pauses in releasing projects because I was getting so bogged down on “does this sound good to my audience” vs “do I like this?”.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the years wondering if releasing music to the public that was different every time would cause confusion, or maybe even alienate listeners, that I lost touch of what I really cared about – producing music that I want to listen to.
There is no moral here, no big revelation, and I’m sure many artists have already addressed this concept, but the more I grow and the more I find myself in a space where I am ready to explore again – the more I realize that setting boundaries for my art is counter-productive.
If you are in a place where you feel stuck because your new ideas don’t align with your old ones, or what your audience expects from you – maybe just let it go, and see where it takes you.